Justin - Sidekick

Dear Mom and Dad,

You’ve been gone for a while now, I still miss you. I’ve fallen into a kinda strange life. I guess I didn’t realize how weird it was at first having been born in a literal circus, but I’ve been starting to notice some things.

Bruce makes sure my schooling is taken care of and Alfred always keeps us well fed, but I’m starting to feel like I might be expendable. That might not be the right word. I mean, we go out after bad guys and the bigger, stronger, better trained guy is wearing a custom Kevlar plated full body suit while I’m running around in a red shirt and green silk underwear. When I first started, it felt like Halloween every night and I felt like I was doing something to help keep another kid from growing up an orphan. Now though, I’m standing to the side while the mayor thanks Batman and, ”oh right, the Boy Wonder” for saving the city from the Joker AGAIN, and I’m thinking the wonder is I didn’t get killed. It’s not like I’ve been fighting other kids for the last five years. I’ve been fighting the same hardened psychopaths that B has. I’ve even started to realize that when Gordon or Alfred would ask if I was ok, they weren’t talking about my parents dying, they were wondering how I was not severely injured. Why did they let him take a kid on the street?

Since I’ve been able to drive, it’s been worse. If we split up on an investigation, I go off on my motorcycle in my greenie tighties with no helmet (because it would mess up the look of the costume) while the big bat with his bullet-proof cowl and armored suit takes off in his armored Batmobile that has enough weapons to take out a small army. While were comparing costumes, he has most of his face covered, I have an eye-mask; how has no one figured out who I am? Bad enough that in costume I’m in bright colored briefs with no armor, but seriously HOW DOES ALL OF GOTHAM NOT NO WHO I AM? I’m pretty sure Bullock figured it out and he’s not that smart. Once I swear he said to me “You ok, Dick?” when I said “what” he said “You ok, kid?” kinda embarrassed.

With all that on my mind, Batman’s “no kill” policy is really starting to look crazy. And when something looks crazy to the kid that’s been fighting criminals in his green panties since he was 12 it’s probably crazy. It’s not even “no kill” as much as “catch and release.” Are there revolving doors on Gotham prison and Arkham Asylum? We locked up Joker 3 times last month. THREE!!! Superman doesn’t kill either, but I think he gets at least a month between Luthor’s schemes. The last time, the look on Gordon’s face when we marched the clown in, I swear he was gonna pull his gun and shoot him. You could tell he wishes B would go ahead and finish it.

Anyway, with my lack of armor, weak identity protection, and our catch and release arrest program, I’m pretty convinced I’m in constant mortal danger and I’m wondering how “the world’s greatest detective” hasn’t figured this all out. I’ll be heading to college soon, so I think I’ll stick it out with B until then. I’ll probably keep fighting crime after I leave Gotham, but I’m getting some Kevlar and some damn pants. I’m not sure how to talk about all this with B, but I’m afraid if he ever gets a new Robin, he’ll end up getting beaten to death by one of these psychos that keep breaking out of Arkham. Probably the Joker. I’ll have to figure out a new name, I think B has Robin trademarked. Something a little tougher probably. Definitely a darker costume with better coverage, like, you know, PANTS.

Well if I survive the next few months, I’ll be out on my own. B will cover my tuition I’m sure, so don’t worry, if that’s still an issue wherever you are. If I don’t survive, I’ll see you soon.

Your loving son,

Dick