Work - Justin

About the Writing

When I had first conceived the idea for this writing project, I knew that part of the fun would be unusual matches of styles and themes. This week’s writing, like last week’s writing blends sublime with ridiculous. To fashion a speech after Lincoln’s great address, one must examine the power of that address. Lincoln, in less than 300 words, put forth lofty ideals and honored those who had fallen at Gettysburg. The power is in the brevity. Though I do not think my dedication of a quality inspection room holds that loftiness, I tried to match the brevity and was able to keep it close in word count.

I do not think it would have been possible to write a serious address based on the Gettysburg and produce anything of value for this exercise. For me, the humor is in the juxtaposition between Lincoln’s powerful words in a powerful moment and a CEO trying to use the same level of pomp in a considerably less powerful moment.

For font, if one desires full effect, collect samples of Lincoln’s handwriting and use them as a basis for a new font. Transfer the text of this address into the new typeface and print it on aged parchment.

The Address

Four score and seven years ago, my great-grandfather brought forth into this textile district a new underwear company, conceived in security and comfort, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are not created equal.

Now we find ourselves in a time of innovation, testing whether that underwear company, or any so dedicated to individual comfort, can endure. We are met with the need to diversify and expand. We come together today, to dedicate a portion of that expansion to Fred Jones, Inspector 21 who has given the last forty years of his life to ensuring a quality fit for our customers. It is proper that our new quality room should bear his name and number.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot commemorate, we cannot immortalize Inspector 21 by this room. He has, through his training of competent underwear inspectors, immortalized himself more than a name plaque has the power to add or detract. The workers of Lincoln Briefs will not remember what I say here today, but you will never forget the quality to which Inspector 21 dedicated his life. It is for us that remain after his retirement to drive Kaizen as he has driven it these last four decades. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us – that from this honored retiree we take increased devotion to that cause for which he gave the full energies of his working life – that we here highly resolve that Inspector 21 shall not have labored in vain – that this quality control room of Lincoln Briefs, shall aid in a new birth to comfort – and that this underwear manufacturer of the people, by the people, for the people, shall never move operations to China.