Unsought Guest - Jason

Unsought Guest

Unsought guest
Unsought guest
Put our patience to the test
Leave your napkin folded clean, monsieur
And then create a mess!
Soup you splash, spilled hors d'oeuvres
Why, you always strike a nerve
Try to pitch in, it's judicious
Don't believe me, do the dishes

You can sing
You can dance
After all, this is your chance
During dinner you should never take a rest
Go on, and clear your larynx
Take a stance and then
You'll be that guest
Singing guest
Unsought guest

Alphabet, Z to A,
Ghost of soft drinks put away
You prepare and serve with flair
An esophageal cabaret
You've got tone
And you've shared
But we were not prepared
That were silent, not complaining
Doesn’t mean you’re entertaining

Then Dad jokes
And dumb tricks
Yes, you really have a shtick!
And it all lacks any taste, that you can bet
Come now and hold your gas
You've cleared the room en masse
Of other guests
That you've stressed
It's refining we suggest
Unsought guest
Unsought guest
Unsought guest

You are so unswerving
With demands upon our serving
You’re not whole without a soul to prey upon
Ah, those good old days when you were useful
Suddenly, those good old days are gone
We let you in trusting, that you would not be disgusting
Needing exercise, you sought to test our skills
You think we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

It's a guest, you’re our guest!
Sakes alive, hoped we’d be blessed
Then we’re gored, a sour chord
And then we’re all a bit distressed
Try dessert, let it be
Then complaints, that fill the sea
While the others are soft chewing

I'll be smiling, while I’m stewing
I'll get warm, piping hot
Heaven's sake, is that a spot?
Clean it up, you know just what makes me impressed
I've got a lot to do
And that’s in spite of you!
For you, our guest
Selfish guest (I’m not impressed)
You’re our guest

Unsought guest
Unsought guest
Constitution to the test
It's been years since I've let anybody near
And you're possessed
With your cough, with your sneeze
Yes, indeed, you’ve brought disease
While the Kleenexes are blowing
Let me help to get you going

Cough by cough
Pun by pun
Till I shout, "Enough, I'm done!"
Then I'll whisk you out the door as you still jest
Tonight you'll think, “what happened?”
But now you're just a chap and
Unsought guest
Unsought guest
Unsought guest
Don’t be my guest