Jason - Parents

If I can have everyone's attention, I was asked to present a small toast to parents tonight. I’ll try to keep this short, but as a parent who has passed on what my parents have shown me, this might be difficult. I hope you will indulge me for just a few moments.

First, we should raise a glass to Dad’s who will a near universal appreciation are regarded for their humor. Afterall, there is a who category of jokes named after them. I still remember my Dad looking out after the dinner prayer was done and we were passing food around. That look crossed his face which said, tonight would be the night we would be graced with one of his “jokes”. “The most amazing thing happened today, out on Ford lake,” he started. “Two fishermen were out there fishing and one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake and you could tell they thought it was gone. Than all of a sudden a fat carp came along and carrying the wallet in its mouth. Soon came another carp who stole it away, carrying it a little bit out into the lake. Then a third joined in and before you know it they had passed that wallet completely to the other side. That is when the second fisherman looked at the first and said , That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting." My Dad paused. We met the punchline first with silence, then confusion and finally my mother let out a groan. He responded as he often did when his jokes didn’t exactly land. He laughed. I think he might have laughed harder because we missed what was funny to him. So, to my Dad, I toast you for teaching me that if I am laughing, that is enough. As I think about this, that probably explains so much to my kids about my jokes.

Second, we should raise a glass to Mom’s who so often are the driver’s behind the work ethic installed in their kids. I remember no shortage of times when Justin and I would be slacking or goofing off and she would stap us back to attention. I remember a routine she set up, when we were old enough, where one of us would cook and the other would do the dishes. Perhaps this is why I may be the messiest cook on the planet. I wonder if my brother is the same way. So for a few days a week, all before dinner one of us would be slaving away and after dinner it would be other of us. Now, this wasn’t our chores, this was an add on. Our chores were on cards in a metal with festive colored stars telling you the frequency a chore needed to be done, or rather the frequency mom wanted us to do them. As I think about the mechanisms and coercion and out and out effort put into getting us to do work, I realize my Mom may have taught me an even more valuable lesson. So, to my Mom, I toast you for teaching me that the one thing better than having a clean house and a good meal, is having those things because get someone else to do it for you. Again, this too is being passed on to my kids.

Finally, we should raise our glass to parent’s as a team, this union of two people who are charged with raising us as kids. No, not all parents are great and even great parents have less than great moments, moments when the team breaks down, but it is in those moments they either make or break. There is a story spoken of in only whispered terms of my Father’s 40th Birthday party. Now I should note a couple things, first he hates surprises, specifically surprise parties and really is not much of a fan of parties at all. Second, this took place more than half of their marriage ago, when he was younger than I am now, when my Mom still had hope that this might change. So, she planned and pulled off a surprise party. The guests showed up, my Dad played along well enough, but he was angry. He wanted them out of his house, he wanted his space and he had been betrayed. My Mom wanted him to recognize this party she had arranged for him, but he hated it. It was like the worst gift ever. But here is the thing. My Mom could make this big mistake, give him this thing he hated, make him endure it in front of people, and it wasn’t going to break them team. My Dad could complete miss the fact that this was for him, to honor him, to do something special with him and instead vent and complain once everyone was gone and it was going to break them team. See, as odd as it seems to me, they love each other. And that love meant while this was a fiasco unfolding, it wasn’t going to break them team. So, lastly, to my parents, I toast you for living and showing me what is written in First Peter, that love covers a multitude of sins.

Now, drink.